How to Make Man Save Money!

Note: These are all from forwarded mail. I do not own these pictures. If they belong to you and you wished them removed, please contact me.

Ironic, Funny or Cool?

Ironic/Funny/Cool? All the images are copied from a forwarded email. Below are the explanations according to the ascending order of images displayed :

1. ADU1111 : An expression of pain in Bahasa.
2. K155 : It could be literally "KISS" or abbreviation for "Keep It Simple, Stupid!"
3. POL15 : "Police" in Bahasa.
4. NAS4 : "NASA."
5. L7 : Forms a square/symbol. This could be the simplest, classiest plate number I've ever seen in Malaysia! My favourite of all!
6. ADD105 : "Adiós" in Spanish meaning 'goodbye' or 'farewell' without the extra "D" in the plate.
7. KAM1 : "Us" or "We" in Bahasa.
8. MAR1011 : This could just be a name, "MARIO" with extra 1's.
9. WAJ4 : "WAJA" is one of the national cars produced by Malaysia, ironically the car itself is a Waja.
10. TAH1 : Literally "Feaces" or colloquially "Shit."
11. PEN15 : "PENIS."

If you are the owner of the image shown above and wish to have it removed, please contact me via contact information on the navigation side-bar.

"Airplane Humour"

I found this funny post from AirAsia's blog site and thought I should share it with everyone. Click here to go to the original page in AirAsia's blog. Enjoy guys!

Occasionally, airline attendants make an effort to make the "in-flight safety lecture" and their other announcements a bit more entertaining. Here are some real examples that have been heard or reported:
1. From a Southwest Airlines employee.... "There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out of this airplane..."

2. Pilot - "Folks, we have reached our cruising altitude now, so I am going to switch the seat belt sign off. Feel free to move about as you wish, but please stay inside the plane till we land...it's a bit cold outside, and if you walk on the wings it affects the flight pattern."

3. After landing: "Thank you for flying Delta Business Express. We hope you enjoyed giving us the business as much as we enjoyed taking you for a ride.

4. As the plane landed and was coming to a stop at Washington National, a lone voice comes over the loudspeaker: "Whoa, big fella. WHOA!"

5. After a particularly rough landing during thunderstorms in Memphis, a flight attendant on a Northwest flight announced: "Please take care when opening the overhead compartments because, after a landing like that, sure as hell everything has shifted."

6. From a Southwest Airlines employee.... "Welcome aboard Southwest Flight XXX to YYY. To operate your seatbelt, insert the metal tab into the buckle, and pull tight. It works just like every other seatbelt and if you don't know how to operate one, you probably shouldn't be out in public unsupervised. In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, oxygen masks will descend from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face. If you have a small child travelling with you, secure your mask before assisting with theirs. If you are travelling with two small children, decide now which one you love more.

7. Weather at our destination is 50 degrees with some broken clouds, but they'll try to have them fixed before we arrive. Thank you, and remember, nobody loves you or your money, more than Southwest Airlines."

8. "Your seat cushions can be used for flotation and in the event of an emergency water landing, please take them with our compliments."

9. "As you exit the plane, please make sure to gather all of your belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among the flight attendants. Please do not leave children or spouses."

10. "Last one off the plane must clean it."

11. From the pilot during his welcome message: "We are pleased to have some of the best flight attendants in the industry... Unfortunately none of them are on this flight...!

12. Overheard on an American Airlines flight into Amarillo, Texas, on a particularly windy and bumpy day. During the final approach, the Captain was really having to fight it After an extremely hard landing, the Flight attendant came on the PA and announced, "Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to Amarillo. Please remain in your seats with your seat belts fastened while the Captain taxis what's left of our airplane to the gate!"

13. Another flight Attendant's comment on a less than perfect landing: "We ask you to please remain seated as Captain Kangaroo bounces us to the terminal."

14. An airline pilot wrote that on this particular flight he had hammered his ship into the runway really hard. The airline had a policy which required the first officer to stand at the door while the passengers exited, smile, and give them a "Thanks for flying XYZ airline." He said that in sight of his bad landing, he had a hard time looking the passengers in the eye, thinking that someone would have a smart comment. Finally, everyone had gotten off except for this little old lady walking with a cane. She said, "Sonny, mind if I ask you a question?" "Why no, Ma'am," said the pilot, "what is it?" The little old lady said, "Did we land or were we shot down?"

15. After a real crusher of a landing in Phoenix, the Flight Attendant came on with, "Ladies and gentlemen, please remain in your seats until Captain Crash and the Crew have brought the aircraft to a screeching halt up against the gate. And, once the tire smoke has cleared and the warning bells are silenced, we'll open the door and you can pick your way through the wreckage to the terminal.

16. Part of a Flight Attendant's arrival announcement: "We'd like to thank you folks for flying with us today. And, the next time you get the insane urge to go blasting through the skies in a pressurized metal tube, we hope you'll think of us here at Southwest Airways."

Sonali is Trying to Cover UP!

It's Zara Zara, a very nice Hindi song!

Sonali decided to cover it and here it is!

Enjoy!

P/S : Observe her facial expressions. Laugh all you want, this video is meant for it.

राजपूत (Rajput) Arranged-Marriage

SONALI SINGH BHADAURIA

The Exotic Indian culture has never faded, even in this modern technological era.

No exception for Sonali from the Rajput caste.

One of the practices is...

ARRANGED-MARRIAGE!

Yes, she will be a part of it! 

Now, here comes the funny part!

Few days ago, her mother called her and talked about it. Her mother opened Sonali's Orkut (something like Friendster/Facebook) profile and viewed her friends. She was asking Sonali one friend at a time about his background, and whether or not is he a Rajput too

 So far, she has only one Rajput male friend and coincidently, her mum asked about that guy, Akhand. Sonali said they are just best friends and can never be married to each other. She also said that it would be funny if both of them were to marry each other. Her mum then replied, "Have you watch that new-released Hindi movie, 'Jane Tu Ya Jane Na'? The best friends will become couple and eventually get married! Both of you will be the same too!" Laughter bursted of out Sonali!

So, her mum moved on to another guy, Rahul (her current distance-relationship's love) and asked Sonali, "So, what about this guy Rahul? Is he a Rajput?"

She immediately said "Next!" when Sonali answered her question with Rahul's last name (from the last names, you can tell if a person is a Rajput or not). Sonali continued that awkward and OH-MY-GOD-ly conversation that night with laughs and some screamings. In India, is it said that it's bad for a girl who doesn't get married by the age of 25 years old.

Sonali said, "Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god! I have just five more years left! Oh my G-O-D!"

What a laugh for me! She was telling me the story and I was laughing, hand on my stomach to stand the pain. HAHAHA!

P/S : For Akhand's (first subject) case, his mum asked the same thing about Sonali. They shared this information and both laughed out loud!

"High-tech" Japanese Instant Noodle

Comes with all-Japanese instructions. (Oh boy!)

(But I got them right!) First, peel the 'A' side up to the 'B'. Take all the seasonings out.

Pour in hot water until desired level achieved. (Hehe, I made that up!)
Then, leave it for about 30 minutes up to an hour. (Just kidding, don't be dumb!)
Anyway, poke the noodle until desired texture achieved. (I made this up too!)
Peel the 'C' side to the 'D' side. Drink the hot water.
Sorry, typo mistake! I meant 'Pour the hot water'.

Lastly, bite off the seasoning sachets with your teeth and squeeze them into the noodle. Ready to be served in another 1,298 times of stirring. Best when served chilled. Enjoy!

P/S : Neither chopsticks nor any utensil is include. Use your fingers you dumbo!
P.P.S.: Sigh, I was so lonely, had this for my DINNER. You biaches should feel really lucky even to the extent that you would have to heat up last-night's left-over for today's dinner! I couldn't wish for more :(

The Power of Force

Despite the fact that I might seemed like I was enjoying myself in the picture, I wasn't. I was "violently" forced by Sonali to stay that way and willingly letting her to capture that moment. Fuck, I looked like a fucking gay man! Haha, the end. Good night :)

Reminds Me of My Best Friends, Sonali and Ibrahim!

Chinese Girls

First date
You get to buy her an expensive dinner but nothing happens.
 
Second date 
You buy her an even more expensive dinner. Again, Nothing Happens!
 
Third date
You usually don't get up to third date because you are smart enough to realize that 
nothing is ever going to happen.

P/S : They like to play hard to get!

Indian Girls

First date
Meet her parents. 

Second date
Set the date of the wedding. 

Third date
Wedding night.

P/S : They have this arranged marriage thingy!

Arab Girls

First Date

Mother, Father, Brothers, Sisters, Cousins, Aunts, Uncles, Friends and entire arab community finds out. 

Second Date 
You are shot dead.

Third date 
Not Applicable.

P/S : God knows!

Have You Ever...

Climbed a tree?

Guess I had when I was a kid!

Made out with your best friend?

Almost!

Danced in the rain?

If jumping around is considered dancing!

Asked someone out?

As in date? Yeah... (and I'm glad!)

Ate something really horrible-looking?

Hell yeah! Try 'Balut'! (Filipino's cuisine : Half matured duck egg... Eww!)

Picked your nose and ate it?

Now that's something really horrible-looking stuff that I would never want to try!

Fallen in love with someone of the same sex?

Doesn't it mean G-A-Y? Hell N-O!

Streaked?

In a few of my dreams! Phew, thank god they weren't in reality!

Watched a meteor shower?

Just like SookLee, I wish I had!

Masturbated in front of other people?
Nah, just fantasized of it! (ROTFL!)

Fallen in front of a ton of people?
Yeah, remind me bout that! The remedy is first, think of a stage full of students and guests. Secondly and lastly, go trip yourself on your way up there!

Been in a play?

Hm, does the Malay-drum playing counted? That was like, when I was six?

Written a really good story?

Tried, and FAILED to...

Been published?

Refer question "Written a really good story?" please.

Ate a bug?

More like killed a bug? Haha!

Been in love with someone way older than you?

Most of the time actually... Come on, who do you expect a Sagittarian of the year to fall in love with? Capricornians? That's gotta be hard, I supposed...

Kissed someone of the same sex?

Yes and it was a dare, ok? Considering air-kissed too, yeah...

Been to a protest?
Wanted to, but didn't know who to protest to and, by the way, from who?

Gotten high with a bunch of friends?
A bunch of friends? Yes. Oh wait, and with another estimated of at least 100,000 guests at a Rave Party, Port Dickson few years back? Hell yeah!

Smoked in front of your parents?

No, always remember, "Smoking is bad for your children!" (Written in most of the Philippines-packed cigarette packs).

Stolen something from a friend?

Oh yeah! Those were some freaking good Chicken McNuggets and Fries! Yum yum!

Flirted with a random guy/girl?

And got her number too! What a sweet Korean!

Played an instrument in a performance?
Remember the instrument 'Recorder'? Yeah. But never with my violin or guitar yet!

Skipped school?
Stick with SookLee, "Who haven't?" right?

Gone "down to the pond" (smoked at school)?

Nah, didn't got close friends to do that with...

Fingered someone (and shook her father's hand right after)?
Hehe! Close to death too!

Made out with someone you hate?
Hm, I don't consider my girlfriends/ex-es or strangers someone I hate.

Written someone a nasty letter?
Shh, Y-E-S and enjoyed it!

Cried over someone you loved?
I know it's not gonna make me look good but yeah... I had.

Cried over someone you didn't even know?

Friend's funeral. Shyt, I meant his late-mother's.

Gone swimming in your clothes?
And later on, got caught by the guards!

Taken a class you knew you'd fail?

That was Accounting but I didn't fail though!

Eaten gum that someone else had already chewed (a friend)?

"SookLee : That's disgusting." Agree!

Been drunk with your parents?
Just tipsy. So, no.

Danced with a guy/girl you really liked but were afraid to tell them?

No. I'm a bad dancer. Stupid breakdance didn't work in that club's dance floor...

Run barefoot through the grass at night with your girl/boyfriend?

Nah, wished! My ex was a clean freak! (Me too actually!)

Eaten something live?
Definitely a NO. Not even raw food! The last time I did, I puked (almost) all the sushi I had. Besides, I don't eat fish... I know, weird. Whatever.

Kissed a frog?
What, it'll turn into a prince princess? Don't think so!

Kissed someone who looked like a frog?
No no no. I wouldn't do that in that first place if that someone looks like a frog!

Been to summer camp?
Several times.

Had a best friend?
Not just one! A few of them!

Wanted to kill someone?
Oh yeah! Please allow me! Please?

Seen a dead person?

... yes.

P/S : Tagged by SookLee. I guess she thought of me (somehow) while filling these blanks! (I'm gonna figure out which one!)

Photoshopped!

Don't let it bite you!

Meow?

One day, a Sadist, a Masochist, a Murderer, a Necrophile, a Zoophile and a Pyromaniac were talking in a psych ward.


Sadist : I'm bored. Why don't we torture a cat?

Zoophile : Yeah, we'll torture it and then fuck it!

Murderer : We'll torture it, fuck it and then kill it!

Necrophile : We'll torture it, fuck it, kill it and then fuck it again!

Pyromaniac : Yeah, then we'll burn the cat!


Sudden silence...

Then all asked the Masochist why he didn't say anything...

Masochist : Meow...!

Practical Joke on Sonali

What happens when you have a naughty guy and a playful girl in a class? Practical jokes will do fine!

Ingredient number 1 : A paper plane.

Ingredient number 2 : A naughty boy who makes the paper plane.

Ingredient number 3 : A playful girl. (Yes, she's wearing the 'World Peace' pin that I designed on her lanyard)

Rock the plane on her hair, when she's not noticing it.
Needless to explain the rest.


P/S : She didn't notice it for about ten minutes up to half an hour!

KFC Chicken at McDonald

KFC Chicken at McDonald

Well, at least it tasted like it!

Weird Japanese Game Show

Strictly 18 and above.

See the things the girls are sitting on? Those are to cover the bottoms of theirs. Contestants are to guess whom is in pain (or pleasure!).

P/S : Kids, please stay away. Thank you.

Happy Halloween!

Had fun just now! Went for Ghost Hunting at an abandoned hospital. Nobody, no lights, no cars but who knows there were ghosts?! Hahaa, I don't believe them actually but even if there were, they're just spirits. NO harm done :)

Here's the pick of the day:



A guy stops at a farm house for the night.


Farmer : Sorry, we don't have a vacant room
but I can let you sleep with my daughter
if you promise not to touch her.

He agrees.

He goes inside the dark room, undresses and lies down. Then the daughter says,

"Please embrace me"

Guy : I can't. I promised your dad not to touch you.
Girl : Please, I'm getting cold.
Guy : (sighs) Ok then.

Next morning, he pays his bill and says,

"Your daughter was very cold"

Farmer : I know. She's been dead for two days.


HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

My New LOVE...

Love is virtual... It's never easy to find, but I've found mine.


She is where I go to everytime I have problems;
She is who I talk to everytime I need a listener;
She is why I am so busy all the time;
She is the killer of my boredom and loneliness;
She is my everything.

Sometimes, she doesn't listen to me;
That depends on what she is wearing that moment;
Also depends on what time it is;
Day or night;
Beginning of a new month or the ending of it;
And that is only if her dad allow me to meet her.

I never get bored of her;
For she surprises me all the time;
She shows me something new everytime I see her;
She is very complicated;
And that is why I love so much about her.

This simple love note;
Is dedicated just for her;
For she is afterall, my everything.

She has a name;
Or perhaps, a pet-name;
That I named her.

Simple but elegant;
And very meaningful...

I love you.

Meaning of the note :

Her name is... Realism. She is my blog!

Love is virtual because she is always IN the internet, never out.

First stanza,

Line 1 : "She" is my blog, so I go to "her" whenever I wanna post something.

Line 2 : I "talk" to her, as in I type something, and "she" receives it.

Line 3 : Yeap, recently I'm quite busy updating my blog.

Line 4 : I don't feel bored or lonely whenever I write something.

Line 5 : "She" is my blog.

Stanza 2,

Line 1 : "She" doesn't "listen" in the sense that sometimes I try to write something, the HTML codes are wrong or incomplete. Very troublesome...

Line 2 : What "she" is "wearing" is actually which computer I'm using. Some are slow, some are fast.

Line 3,4,5 : Means that sometimes, the connection is really fast at night when only a few people are using the net. Also, the peak time when most of the people use the net. Eg, many might be using the net on Friday night.

Line 6 : "Dad" means the IT manager, St*ve. He would sometimes block my site and my postings. I couldn't do anything about it but to wait for another day or a period of 12 hours.

Stanza 3,

Line 1 : Nope, getting online and blogging are both not boring.

Line 2,3 : "Surprises me" and "something new" are actually feedbacks from readers.

Line 4 : "Complicated" because "she" a blog, you have to edit it, customize it, take care of it.

Line 5 : And again, I love to blog nowadays...

Stanza 4,

Line 1 : "Simple" because the computers in the lounge has not special HTML codes, thus, no effects on words and no cool fonts.

Line 2 : "Dedicated" means posted.

Line 3 : Whatever...

Stanza 5,

Line 1 : Name, that's the name of this blog - Realism.

Line 2 : "Pet-name" because I came out with the name myself.

Line 3 : I named her... (Oh boy!)

Stanz...... (I think that's enough...)

P/S : Who (what) were you thinking? Hahaa!