Why, why me...

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For most of you who have at least seen me once, maybe in the last 3 years, you would have probably noticed that obviously I have pimples and acne on my face. Clearly, I do not have the clear skin that most of you have...

For the past month, after years of treating it, it has finally receded to a state that I felt quite comfortable with. But, things don't always go (especially) the way I want them to be.

I've been doing a lot of researches for as long as I can remember and have at least gave every possible solution a try until lately, for the past two weeks, my skin has gone really bad. I've begun to feel intimidated (somehow) by the look people around me give and embarrassed even by just talking, looking straight at them in the face.

I've taken more than adequate amount of water with all-natural face wash, calming toner and cream for the face, not to mention that I've been practicing regular sleeps almost everyday. I don't touch it often and always wipe it only with clean cloths.

The only thing that I can never control would probably be the conditions during my flight. Flying up few thousands feet and being exposed to high radiation, the sunscreen doesn't help much.

I really hate the tight spaces in the cockpit and the heat that the sun produces. Getting down after flight with the uncomfortable combination of feelings really are getting into my nerves. I can't fucking control them!

Sigh, I know how my close friends say that they are friends with me not because of my face, but having the hatred of not wanting to look at the mirror really makes me very, very self conscious.

Most of you have clear, if not completely good skin. Okay fine, here it is, I'm fucking envious and can only hope that mine will get better, day by day. That's it, for the meantime.

P/S : This is the only reason pulling me back from Plan A. Don't guess, Plan A is not the plan for my bad face.

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